Self-care is a cliché that appears to have lost its luster and value due to the term being overused. As a concept, it is frequently misunderstood, and certainly under-practiced.
When others suggest that we need to practice more self-care, many of us roll our eyes and think “ain’t nobody got time for that.” In fact, I have done so myself. However, the more I reassessed my initial impressions relating to self-care, (that involved me engaging in self-indulgent and luxurious activities) the more I have mindfully and intentionally embraced what self-care truly means and what benefits I can gain from practicing it regularly.
Self-care, for me, is the simple practice of taking care of my whole self (mind, body, and spirit) with mindful and intentional practice. I learned how to be deliberate in what I am giving myself and what I am doing for, and to myself.
When I teach self-care practices to my clients, I encourage them to evaluate their own views and biases with respect to self-care. I also encourage them to assess their own self-care practices, to explore new ideas, and to build on their strengths.
When I counsel my clients to adopt a greater degree of self-care, some of them initially view my recommendations as impractical or out of reach for them, especially during trying and stressful times. My clients do typically acknowledge the value of my recommendations to practice self-care but often return to follow-up sessions without engaging in them, overwhelmed with where and how to start, and fearful that they won’t do them ‘right’.
Over the years, I have become more aware of the genuine challenges facing my clients who look to adopt more self-care practices in their day-to-day lives. Clinically, however, I also enjoy the creative aspect of exploring ideas, perspectives, and the practice of self-care with my clients and I support my clients in their own exploration as they create and implement mindful and intentional practices as well. Likewise, I encourage self-care as a preventative practice that sustains well-being as well as a means to achieve an overall healthy life-balance for the long run.
The idea of “added-value” in therapy can be viewed as:
• Offering a fresh look at self-care.
• Refuting myths surrounding self-care.
• Minimizing the challenges confronting clients in practicing self-care.
• Reducing the difficulty clients have in initiating, practicing consistently, and sustaining self-care routines.
• Committing to practicing them effectively over time.
The ultimate goal in my clinical practice is to help my clients hit the reset button, and to begin again with a deeper and renewed understanding of self-care practice. I help them to look at self-care through a new lens, one in which they set aside old, tired notions and myths and courageously take on, and embrace, new ones that add value to their overall well-being.
Self-care means taking intentional steps to care for your physical, emotional, and psychological well-being. It does not have to involve expensive purchases, special treatments, or large amounts of free time. Everyday choices that support rest, balance, self-awareness, and healthy coping can all be forms of self-care. Practiced consistently, self-care can help you respond to life's demands and support your overall well-being.
People may struggle with self-care because they see it as self-indulgent, unnecessary, or unrealistic given their responsibilities. Others may feel overwhelmed by the number of changes they think they need to make or worry that they are not practicing self-care correctly. Recognizing these assumptions can be a useful first step. Rather than trying to change everything at once, consider what already works for you and identify one manageable way to care for yourself more intentionally.
Start by identifying what helps you feel more balanced, rested, or emotionally grounded. Depending on your needs, this might include taking a short walk, getting adequate sleep, spending time on an enjoyable activity, setting aside a few quiet minutes, or connecting with someone supportive. Self-care looks different for each person, so choose practices that fit your circumstances and personal strengths. Small, realistic steps are often easier to maintain than ambitious routines that feel overwhelming.
Self-care becomes easier to sustain when it is built into your existing routines rather than treated as another demanding task. Start with one or two achievable practices, choose times that fit your schedule, and adjust them as your needs change. It can also help to notice which activities genuinely support your well-being and which expectations create unnecessary pressure. Consistency matters more than perfection; if a routine falls away during a difficult period, you can begin again with a manageable step.
Stressful periods can make self-care feel especially difficult, yet they are often when supportive routines matter most. Making time for rest, maintaining healthy boundaries, recognizing your emotional needs, and reaching out to supportive people can help you manage daily demands. Self-care is not about eliminating every difficulty or expecting yourself to feel positive all the time. It is about responding to your needs with greater awareness and finding sustainable ways to support yourself. ITI-NJ also provides Information & Self-Help resources for exploring psychological concerns and ways to address them.
Self-care can support overall well-being, but it may not be enough when emotional difficulties persist, stress feels overwhelming, or symptoms interfere with work, relationships, sleep, or everyday responsibilities. Speaking with a mental health professional can provide an opportunity to better understand your concerns, explore unhelpful patterns, and develop strategies suited to your circumstances. Therapy can also help you identify realistic self-care practices and address barriers that make them difficult to maintain. ITI-NJ offers a range of therapy services to support individuals and families facing emotional and psychological challenges.
In our work with children, couples and adults, we strive to meet the needs that everyone has for validation and support while helping them to expand their self-awareness and the range of skills they employ to work out solutions to the problems they face in life. Our mission at ITI-NJ is to improve psychotherapy outcomes for all clients and families in the communities we serve and to provide excellent, quality care with compassion and respect for all we serve.
Visit our Therapy Services Overview page for more information.
